tv Jimmy Kimmel Live ABC May 14, 2014 11:35pm-12:38am PDT
up next, actress emily blunt. >> have a good night. >> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight -- emily blunt, from "shark tank", daymond john, and music from the birds of satan. with cleto and the cletones. and now, fasten your safety belts, here's jimmy kimmel! ♪ ♪ [ applause ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hello. i'm jimmy. i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. thank you for being here tonight.
thank you for joining us on "air conditioning appreciation week" in los angeles. it was very hot today. it got up to 98 degrees here in hollywood. in the valley, it was over a hundred. this is not a good week to be a superhero out on hollywood blvd. truth be told no week is. but especially this one. on the plus side, i guess the heat is good practice for when we all go to hell. which we will. i was in new york for the last couple of days. yesterday morning in new york i swear this is true, for breakfast, i ordered a hot dog as an appetizer for breakfast. then i had the main course of three eggs and a bagel. and about six pickles. and then i had four slices of pizza on the way to the airport. which, for me, is a show of restraint.
anything less than a whole pizza is a win! we've got a fun show for you tonight with emily blunt, the birds of satan and daymond john from "shark tank." can we show the machine? and also we have a group of very brilliant young students here from purdue university they are the winners of the rube goldberg contest this is a contest that pays tribute to rube goldberg a cartoonist who would draw these elaborate contraptions designed to complete very simple, very mundane taskes this machine has one purpose it zips up a zipper and we are going to show you how that works in about 7 minutes. guillermo, you are going to be the gishgs y the guy, you are going to be the zipper guy. >> guillermo: all right. i got home from new york very late last night. my flight was delayed a couple of hours because there was an electrical problem at air traffic control in chicago. an exhaust fan in the bathroom
at air traffic control overheated and as a result of that, they had to evacuate the place for three hours and stop all air traffic coming in and going out. and you thought the guy who destroys the bathroom at your office was bad. this guy grounded planes a thousand miles away! did you know that the first quarter of this year this winter there were more flight cancellations than any quarter ever in the united states? 4.6 percent of all flights were cancelled mostly because of the weather. having your flight cancelled is a pain but it can also be good if you didn't want to go where you were headed in the first place. "bad news they cancelled my flight. i know. kiss the kids for me i guess i'll hang out here at home by myself this weekend." in fact there is a new airline. i don't know if you've heard about this but there is a new airline that is making being grounded instead of thinking of it as an inconvenience this airline promises no departures guaranteed.
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happened doesn't mean we can't guess. cnn headline news put a panel of talking heads together to try to figure it out. and i think they had an interesting take on this. >> a woman we think is beyonce staying out of the fray. let's get a panel together here. joining us, the human lie detector, jeannine driver. >> jimmy: that dog's opinion is just as valid as any of those other experts! meanwhile there's a new leaked audiotape of clippers owner donald sterling. another private conversation has made it's way to the internet. not only do they need to take donald sterling's team away, they also need to take away his phone. this time, the daily mail got their hands on a conversation sterling had with a rapper named maserati. does any one know him? in this one, mr. sterling regales his friend maserati with
tales of various sexual encounters he had with v stiviano and also boasts about the positive impact he had on her life. >> here is a poor girl, mexican girl, never had anything in her life. never had food. never had clothes. and i meet her, she has got a fabulous body. and she loves to have sex. and she is just fun. and i say, well, what i've gave her some money? what if i helped her? what if i helped her family? god was good to me. >> that's true. >> i want to do it! and i did it! >> basically what you did was change the whole family's life. >> i changed the whole family's life. i changed it. >> yes, you did. you changed their lives. they changed your diapers. it was a win-win. >> did you know donald sterling has famous parents?
>> jimmy: dr. and mrs. zaius sterling. his mom and dad. part two of his interview with anderson cooper aired on cnn tonight. if you missed part one on monday it may have been the first time i've ever seen an apology that was more offensive than the thing being apologized for. for some reason he lashed out at magic johnson he kept saying magic has aids, that magic hasn't done anything to help the african american community, and that magic is trying to use this scandal to trick him into selling the clippers to him. last night, anderson cooper sat down with magic who definitely took the high road. >> this notion i want his team, if i was going to trek somebody, deceive some body, be dishonest with some body, steal some body's franchise it is going to be the los angeles lakers. let me just relay that to you right now. it won't be the l.a. clippers.
[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: even when they win, the clippers can't win. magic johnson went on to say that he won't hold a grudge against donald sterling and that if he saw him in public he would say hello. which i would love to be a fly on the wall when that happens. magic will be here next week maybe we'll try to get them together. right. you guys aren't invited. this is something. i noticed an unusual trend over the past week criminals whose names match their crimes like this guy, who we showed last week. police charged an ottawa man with indecent exposure after several flashing incidents. john popadick. >> a flasher named popadick. i happened upon a story about this new england woman who's been racking up duis. >> new this morning, a massachusetts woman arrested on a seventh drunk driving charge. brenda drinkwater, accused of
handing over her liquor store receipts. >> jimmy: that's right drinkwater is good advice and finally and i promise this is real a story about another flasher this one from rock hill, north carolina. >> rockhill police charged a man they say dropped his pants at waffle house. the police officer at the restaurant said 26-year-old ryan smallwood dropped his pants. >> what is he smiling about? it's like dr. seuss is writing the news. this is amazing. this happened yesterday in bakersfield. a 4-year-old was playing in his driveway when the the dog kicomes in, attacks him. when all of a sudden the family cat charges out - and chases the dog off! the mom checked the kid to make sure he was okay then ran after the dog and the kid gets the hello out of there. the boy gets up and gets the hell out of there. a hero cat! are you serious?
like dogs -- like -- i bet someone got an extra fancy feast to reward her for that! hey we have something special for you tonight. as i mentioned a moment ago a rube goldberg machine is a machine that accomplishes a simple task in as complicated a way as possible. basically, it's an intentionally delightful waste time. every year since 19 # 3, students participate in an annual rube goldberg machine contest. teams of college students from all over the country design and build these crazy machines and enter them in a competition. each year they assign a specific task this year's task was to zip a zipper and with us tonight the winning squad, the purdue university rube goldberg team. come on out! how are you? welcome! welcome. welcome. congratulatis. thank you for coming. all right. so here we have -- adam, david,
becca, jordan, andrew and ben. and you guys are the winning team. they said you have to come up with something that zip is a zipper. >> yes. so, per competition rules you have to have a 6'by 6'by 6'machines 20 steps or transfer of energy and has to complete the task. and zip it zipper. did it in 75 steps. >> jimmy: how do you get this in the back of your mom's car? >> the whole machine -- the whole machine splits in half. and it is still quite a mess. takes all six of us. we some times have to bring extra outside help. >> jimmy: the whole thing is built out of stolen merchandise, true. >> not stolen. repurposed. >> jimmy: where did you get it? >> dumpster diving. >> jimmy: is within of your
jobs, dumpster diver. >> we try to throw jordan into the dumpster. >> jimmy: your danes the smajor smallest. complete a simple task in a complicated way. this week you introduce aid human into the mix, that's not been done. >> first time in competition any one has put a person inside the machine. rube goldberg's cartoons centered around some one. a great homage to say, why don't we put some one in there and get back to the roots. >> we have a human for you. a number of them working here at the show. why don't you reveal the human. there he is. his name is guillermo. guillermo is going to be -- don't know if we call hip tm th guinea pig. the hamster in the wheel. attaching something to guillermo's zipper. of his jacket. funnier the other way i guess. now you guys.
i guess you need a quarter from me, right? you guys are going to, should i do this? >> hand the quart tire guillermo. >> jimmy: guillermo. i will hand you a quarter. everybody put in the jump ball machine. keep your eye on the gum ball. >> no time for breakfast in the morning. so you grab a gum ball. that will freshen your breath. you go ahead that hits the arm. that goes all the way and releases the golf ball. and it goes. oh, that was supposed to be cologne. and we're off. calibrating your own personalized theme song. everybody need a jam in the morning. wait for contact. ♪ ♪ >> now it is breakfast time with tea and toast. >> now, just to entertain your dog, you don't have to. now you have to check your home work if you are a child star on the great shark wars of 1852.
>> didn't lose a guy that time. >> favorite hobby. in the morning. >> finally. zip it zipper. >> oh, there it goes. it's zipping. it's zipping. it's zipping. [ cheers and applause ] >> pretty great. >> nicely done! >> how do you feel, guillermo? >> great. great. this is nice. >> jimmy: so easy, huh? >> guillermo: ha-ha. >> sell it to the gap. they can put it outside the dressing room. thank you. unbelievable. congratulations. on the big win. rube goldberg team. tonight on the show
from "shark tank" daymond john is here. we have music from the birds of satan and we'll be right back with emily blunt. >> dicky: portions of "jimmy kimmel live" are brought to you by double tree by hilton. visit us at doubletree.com to learn more about how you can join the cookie care movement. let's see it, buddy! wooo! the samsung galaxy s5 has an all-new, ultra hd camera that snaps photos with twice the resolution of the iphone, has the ability to enhance your photos before you get the shot, hahaha, you got it? perfect. yeah! and change the focus, after you take the picture. it's our most powerful camera ever. whoa! wow! yeah! introducing the samsung galaxy s5. available at verizon.
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crystal geyser. always bottled right at the mountain source. >> jimmy: tonight on the program he's the founder and ceo of fubu and a shark on "shark tank," daymond john is here. with us tonight. and then a new band from taylor hawkins of foo fighters this is their self- titled album the birds of satan from the at&t stage. they brought lots of smoke machines. tomorrow night shailene woodley will be here, aasif mandvi will join us, and we'll have music from iggy azalea. and we have a new show for you on friday with nathan lane, adam carolla, and music from royal blood. please join us for those. >> jimmy: our first guest is a very fine actress and human being whose hard work has earned
her a bafta award, a golden globe and even a baby daughter. you can see her show complete disregard for the time-space continuum alongside tom cruise in the new movie "edge of tomorrow." it opens in 2-d, 3-d, and imax june 6th, please welcome emily blunt. ♪ >> you look fantastic. hard to believe you had a baby this century. never mind four months ago. >> three months ago. >> jimmy: three months ago. >> yes. mother's day. lovely. we want to santa barbara. really nice. >> did you take the baby? >> baby came with us.
most mothers like to be left alone with a bottle of champagne. not now. when she is a teenager. >> jimmy: send her to a boarding cool. your husband tweeted this very, very cute picture. this is one of those binkies. pacifier. >> binky. almost as big as her face. >> jimmy: oversized binkies are all right rage for kids. >> for adults maybe. >> jimmy: i came and visited you shortly after you had hazel. >> brand new. the way he holds the baby. >> hold her? he was burping her. >> jimmy: had her in a weird chokehold. how steven segal hold his kid. yeah, like over the face. there was a weird.
call me if there is any trouble at all. if you feel like crying -- >> she's really independent. not crying. >> jimmy: you are about to go on publicity tour, where are you going? >> going to london, paris, new york. we are doing this crazy 24-hour prepremiere in 24 hours in three different countries. this is tom cruise's idea, of course. not something i came up with. not something i would think to do. >> jimmy: not something anybody would do. you have to do it with the baby now? >> actually. i think she might go back. three countries, 24 hours. she'll lose her mind. >> jimmy: will she come to london? >> she will come to london. my mom is excited. i am going over early so mum can have some time. >> jimmy: your mother, the first baby. >> first grandbaby. she is so excited. she is, i think more excited by
yeah, hopefully you won the have to. hopefully you get somebody nice. if strangers offer to hold the baby will you allow them to hold the baby? >> no. no. >> jimmy: aren't people cleaner on the plane, isn't it sterile or snug aomething? >> dirtier, all the recycled air. >> jimmy: right. don't let any body touch the baby. do people give you advice how to do things? >> i felt like i got more when i was pregnant. i feel look now, i had so much advice while i was pregnant. i remember going to this party. i walked in. and, no one said congratulations. everyone just said i was really pregnant at this point. who is your doctor, what is your birth plan, are you going to breast sne breast-feed? onslaught of questions? >> jimmy: you should have a birth plan. >> i have never done this. >> jimmy: that's why they're feasting on you. have people let up? >> people have let up.
you do get sent books. i have so many books. >> jimmy: too many books. i feel look my parents didn't read any books. i feel like my mom show she didn't smoke, started smoking. while i was in there. just because it was like, the thing to do. >> the thing. martinis and a >> jimmy: look how great i turned out. speaking of things turning out great. i saw your movie. it is fantastic. really great. we'll show a clip. called "the ledge of tomorrow" and emily blunt is here with us. we'll be right back. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ ♪ [ female announcer ] you never know what might come your way. a 24-speed bike with 7 gears you will never use. an aquarium for the fish you named but shouldn't have. because you know, fish. a snowboard that'll carve a mountain
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>> all right. let's go again. left, left, left. keep your eyes open. again. again. again. again. wait. wait. i think i'm any okay. >> jimmy: that is emily blunt, tom cruise, "edge of tomorrow" what a good movie that is. it is going to be huge. >> i hope so. poor tom, poor tom just gets killed. [ bleep ]. >> jimmy: groundhog day. >> sci-fi alien war. >> jimmy: it was robot octopus monsters in it. you were physically fit and tough in the movie. >> did train.
>> jimmy: because tom cruise does his own stunts. does that put pressure on you? >> you want to do your own, as well, so he is not the only one. >> jimmy: does he tell that beforehand. like before, when talking about doing the movie. you know. >> he did talk about it. and it's going to be hard, you know. i was like, you know. he was look you have to do your own stunts. i was look all right. i will do my own stunts. challenging shoot. >> jimmy: challenging, do you mean horrible. >> the suits. heavy armored suits. they weighed like, between 85 and 100 pounds. like his suit weighed 100 pounds. i think this movie must have been the hardest movie he has ever done. >> jimmy: really? >> i remember, there was a day in the trailer, a drop ship, get dropped out of. size of a sardine can, the set. we were boiling in these huge suit. camera equipment. camera guys. no space. people were crashing into each other. we are hanging in these
harnesses with like the full weight of the 85 pound suit and body weight on your groin which is not fun. hanging there like this, between takes waiting for them to get ready and we're like, and i look at tom, and i can just see that, insatiable positivity, is starting to unravel. and it was just amazing. i looked. and he is like pouring sweat. i'm hanging there. and i just went "boy this really sucks." he looked at me and he went "it's a challenge." and i went, i said, "tom, it sucks." he went, all right, fine it sucks. i broke him. i broke him. >> jimmy: you broke his spirit. >> broke his spirit. >> jimmy: when you are in london with tom, your hometown, do you take him around to places? >> he came out with us a few
times. >> jimmy: he did. did you break him there too? >> i did. it was the disgusting matt damon's birthday party. >> jimmy: 30 years with those parties. >> what a loser. so, john my husband wanted to do something kind of crazy for him. because he flew to london and spent his birthday with us. i don't know if you heard of the club called the box. >> jimmy: no. >> it's like a kind of burlesque stroke sex club. >> jimmy: what do you mean by stroke? >> i mean people aren't having sex. >> are they having strokes. >> a lot of people having strokes. >> a freak show. weird things that go on that are supposed to make you cringe. tom loves matt. tom want to come. earlier i think he thought it was going to be like a nice civilized thing. i e-mailed him. tom, change of plan, we're now going to go to this club called
the box. i said just wanted you to know you may not feel comfortable with this it's kind of loike a sex club. he wrote back and said [ bleep ]. he said just don't let me walk out of there alone. >> jimmy: wow. wow. >> he didn't. >> jimmy: the movie came out great. whatever you had to put tom through, whatever spirit you broke in him. >> poor tom. >> jimmy: the movie did come out great. called "edge of tomorrow" opens in theaters june 6. emily blunt, everybody. we'll be right back. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ >> dicky: the jimmy kimmel live concert series is presented by a-t-and-t. mobilizing your world.
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8:00 here on abc. please say hello to daymond john. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] boy this shark tank, i really enjoy. when they pitched this idea, i thought this is terrible. it is going to be gone in two weeks. yet it gets more and more popular. >> i thought it would be on two weeks as well. >> jimmy: you signed up for it anyway. >> i did. free trip to l.a. hang out. look at crappy companies. >> jimmy: the experience from being a successful businessman to a television star, how have you enjoyed senate. >> you know what, i enjoy it, it inspires people. the flip side of it is, i get pitched everything from everybody anywhere. >> jimmy: i bet you do. >> that is a problem. >> jimmy: everyone has an idea. >> everyone. >> jimmy: wherever they see you?
>> wherever they see me. my old school teachers call me. and they pitch me ideas. and they go, i go weren't you the one that left be make in the 7th grade. they're look you are still holding on to that. it was a misunderstanding. >> jimmy: do you hear them out? >> i hear everybody and walk away. >> jimmy: has any body said something that you thought was pretty good. >> often times, besides black people everybody thinks all black people look the same. some times when people pitch me they think i am ashy larry from the chapelle show or celo. i'm ashley larry from chapelle they leave me alone. >> is it possible celo gets pitched things. >> didn't know if i need to buy lotion or learn to sing. either way. >> jimmy: neither would hurt, really. what is the worst of all of the pitches you have heard, what's
the worst one? >> worst one on the show was the guy we wanted to put surgically implant blue tooth in your neck. >> jimmy: reason bum. >> exactly. then you had to plug your neck in, in the middle of the night. a rod that plugs your neck. and you had to get a surgery. >> jimmy: you did not invest. you were the pragmatic shark in the group, right? >> you know what, i grew up, poor. i came from the hood. everything in the house can be fixed with cinder block, vice grips or electrical tape, right. so when people come on the show and they want $2 million for this and that idea. i think about the everyday people at home who are going, i don't have a job, why would i give this person a million, $2 million for this crazy idea. so i am the guy that goes, this is just, just go work hard. come back with sales. then maybe i'll invest. >> when you started working at red lobster at that point did
you think i want to go into the restaurant business or just a job for you? >> a job for me. i just thought maybe i cupped get a job in how tell restaurant management. i was a waiter at red lobster. the problem was this, i was at red lobster at the worst possible time when they introduced cheddar bay biscuits. i was a waiter. looking for tips. people would come in and have, four or five, baskets of biscuits, and bounce. leave no tip. i thought there had to be a better way. >> jimmy: do you go back to red lobster? >> once in a while. i eat the cheddar bay biscuits and dupe to the same thing. >> jimmy: you do? when you started out. you started fubu, the clothing company. for us by us. and is this something that you would have pitched on the show like shark tank? >> i would have pitched it on shark tank. i think i probably wouldn't
hat haven't made it past kathy. i would have came on said, i have a couple shirts. for advice. ki kids who love hip-hop by kids who love hip-hop. l.l. cool jay wears my clothes. i have ten t-shirts. >> jimmy: for two years -- >> two years i would put them on video. kevenl o kevin o'leary, said why don't i put it on ape t t-shirt. every shirt i sell, $5 royalty. >> jimmy: he is not an us, by the way. >> for us by us does not include canadian white people. >> good thing, i may have gotten to deal with barbara. she can't count. you start out with the small t-shirts. i rim berle aemember ape story, jay, wore a fubu hat. in a gap commercial.
>> yes, yes. >> jimmy: he told me something about this. was that shug that you planned. >> you know the time. hip-hop was becoming popular. and i bleach the conversation, l.l. felt insulted when they called him, i want you to come in and rap and get people in the store. we thought rap was for african-americans. my daughter is 16 years old, white. and talking about fight the power and -- the police. they asked l.l. to write the copy. >> jimmy: remember, a great commercial actually. >> it was. rapping fact. in the commercial he goes for us by us on the logo. they ended up spending $30 million airing a fubu ad. and fubu skyrocketed. it did. now, everybody at the gp and advertising agency. you know what they found ought a year later, they found out the demo they were trying to hit increased 300%. the kids thought they could get
fubu in the gap. so they called us up. we gave each other a big sloppy wet kiss. and we reaired the add another $30 million. and fubu took off. >> jimmy: did they ever put fubu in the gap? >> no. they didn't love it that much. >> jimmy: congratulations on the success of the show. and season premier of "shark tank" airs friday night at 9 here on abc. when we come back music from the birds of satan. ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by at&t. mobilizing your world.
0 to 60?performance? or 60 to 0? how a car performs in a quarter-mile? or a quarter-century? is performance about the joy of driving? or the importance... of surviving? to us, performance is not about doing one thing well. it is about doing everything well. because in the end... everything matters. mercedes-benz. the best or nothing. what is this place? where are we? this is where we bring together the fastest internet and the best in entertainment. we call it the x1 entertainment operating system. it looks like the future! he has a phaser! it's not a phaser! it's my phone!
he can use his voice to control the tv. you can use your woice? my voice. your woice. my voice. "vuh," voice. his voice. your woice? look. watch sci-fi. [ female announcer ] the x1 entertainment operating system, only from xfinity. >> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by at&t. mobilizing your world. >> jimmy: i'd look to thank emily blunt, daymond john, and apologize to matt damon, we ran out of time. "nightline" is next, but first
this is their self-titled, album making their network tv debut with the song "thanks for the line." the bird of satan. ♪ ♪ ♪ they can't disown you if they never owned you one more reminder that you'll never find her ♪ ♪ its always the same you're playing the game walk through the door just to hide ♪ ♪ you're goin nowhere
thanks for the line another contender for you're never ender ♪ ♪ another decision with constant revision its all who you know its all just a show ♪ ♪ walk through the door just to hide your goin nowhere thanks for the line ♪ ♪ thanks for the line what you can't erase too much in this space falling all around you ♪
this is "nightline" -- tonight. hell on wheels. >> what is your emergency? >> it's bad. she's hurt bad. >> millions of defective tires could be on the road. accident after accident. >> i heard a pop. and basically -- >> supposed to be pulled from the stores, yet still for sale. are you driving a ticking time bomb? plus we go 6,000 feet beneath the ocean inside a never-before-seen underwater volcano. >> we are inside -- >> mysterious and powerful. an eruption could swamp the east coast of the u.s. we're revealing the secrets and beauty at the bottom of the